I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
