Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
