Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
