I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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