i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
