I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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