The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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