My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
