hell yes lets make some ravioli
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize