my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just high enough for therapy.
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