Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
