Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize