I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
