Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think a kid would responsible me up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
