We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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