if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize