Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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