After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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