i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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