Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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