either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
