Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
