I want to make a zoo with you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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