And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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