Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
