Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
