I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
