You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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