I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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