I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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