Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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