I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A+ Viking dick
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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