and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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