i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
