I cannot find my penis.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize