wakey wakey hands off snakey
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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