he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
