this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
