I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
