another moral hangover. fuck.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
