I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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