I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
no, he came in my armpit
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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