Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
