If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize