I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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