I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
