Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
