her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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