you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
