quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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