Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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