My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
