I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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