Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
