So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think I just sharted jello shots
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