I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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