it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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